Are you trying to conceive and can’t stop stressing out? Here are 17 different tips on how to relax while trying to get pregnant.
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If you’re actively trying to get pregnant, you probably know by now that the process is nothing short of stressful.
There’s only a small window of time per month to get it right and as we all know, there’s still no guarantee that your efforts will result in a baby.
Doing this month after month can not only add an unhealthy amount of stress to your life, but it can affect your entire outlook on getting pregnant as well.
Friends and family who don’t understand what it’s like trying to conceive may utter the least helpful words ever: well just try to relax!
It’s never as easy as it sounds.
Thankfully, there are various realistic ways to to help you destress while trying to conceive. Here are some useful tips to help you do just that.
This post is all about how to relax while trying to get pregnant.
Can stress cause infertility?
While stress can certainly become a pain, studies show that it’s impact on fertility is inconclusive.
Some may argue that stress can affect your fertility indirectly because people who are more stressed, are less likely to have intercourse, therefore decreasing their chances of getting pregnant.
People under a lot of stress can also develop other illnesses such as anxiety or depression.
Whatever the case, one fact remains the same: that decreasing stress can positively impact your well-being.
People who are happier, have more intercourse, have a better outlook on life, and are less susceptible to anxiety and depression.
So while stress technically can’t hurt your chances of conceiving, learning how to manage it only has upsides. This is why it’s important to understand how to relax while trying to get pregnant.
How to relax while trying to get pregnant
1. Remember that the odds are in your favor
Did you know that most couples who are actively trying to get pregnant, succeed within 2 years? In this study published in 2003, the odds were overwhelmingly in favor of couples who wanted a baby.
To summarize:
- 30% of couples conceived in the first month
- 75% of couples conceived within 6 months
- 90% of couples conceived within 1 year
- 95% of couples conceived within 2 years
If you’ve been trying to conceive for 4 months and it hasn’t happened yet, that’s normal. Unfortunately, getting pregnant isn’t always easy just because you’re young and healthy. It can take time.
Of course, there are other factors that could impact your chances of getting pregnant like age, weight, and diet. But overall, the odds swing in favor of those who are actively conceiving.
2. Take advantage of your age
Your age can play a huge role in whether it’s time to reach out to a fertility specialist:
- 40 and older: You should reach out to a fertility doctor as soon as possible
- 35 to 39: If you have been trying to get pregnant for at least 6 months, you can reach out to a fertility doctor
- Under 35: You are free to reach out to a fertility specialist after 1 year of actively trying to conceive
Knowing when you’re able seek a professional’s help can allow you to feel like you have more control over your journey. It can also help you relax more if you know that you can eventually get medical assistance.
3. Go to your doctor for a check-up
In order to ease your mind about having endometriosis or PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), it would be a good idea to go for a quick check-up.
Your physician can run simple blood tests that can determine whether you have these conditions. Since these two conditions can make it more difficult to conceive, it’s best to know if you have either of them as soon as you can.
Knowing whether you have endometriosis or PCOS early on can give you more realistic expectations about how long it’ll take you to conceive.
If you’re diagnosed, it’s nothing to be discouraged about. There are plenty of women with PCOS or endometriosis who go on to have healthy successful pregnancies.
Having the confirmation one way or another will help you better proceed on your trying to conceive journey.
4. Find a support group online or in-person
The trying to conceive community is not as small as you would think. If you’re having a hard time finding a support group near you, there are plenty available online.
Just to list a couple, the Trying to Conceive groups on BabyCenter and What To Expect are some of the largest online forums. You’re bound to find someone with a similar journey to you.
Talking to friends or family is great too but sometimes you just want a community of people who know what this journey is like.
It’s therapeutic having a space to be completely honest and to have a group of people who feel the same way. It’s also a free or low-cost way to keep yourself busy during the two-week-wait!
5. Start journaling
Even if you’re not much of a writer, journaling can be very therapeutic. Putting your thoughts and feelings down into a private journal is not only relieving, but it’s a snapshot of this time in your life.
It’s a great way to express yourself if you don’t have anyone to to talk to who understands your journey. You can journal in a blank notebook, or you can use one with prompts like this one if you’re struggling with infertility.
You can even do it on your computer. Whichever way works for you.
6. Consider reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility
If you’re over the 6 month mark with no success, it may be a good idea to read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Not only are there incredibly useful tips in this book, but reading is also a great way to relax.
Taking Charge of Your Fertility includes information about how to chart and how to use something called the Fertility Awareness Method.
While very educational, it’s also a light-hearted book written by someone who’s very familiar with the process of trying to conceive.
It’s definitely worth the read if you’re looking for another way to gain control over your journey to get pregnant.
7. Practice deep breathing exercises
A simple exercise that helps you relax in as little as 1 minute is deep breathing.
Typically a breathing exercise looks something inhaling, hold, exhaling, hold, and repeat. You can do this for as long as you like, but for many, 1 minute does the trick.
You can do it as often as you like as well. Deep breathing exercises have many benefits including reliving anxiety, and alleviating stress.
You can download an app like this one, use a Youtube video, or even find a breathwork instructor near you.
Whenever you feel yourself start to succumb to the stress of trying to conceive, deep breathing is easily accessible and a quick way to calm yourself down.
8. Try meditation or prayer
If you’re still wondering about how you can relax while trying to get pregnant, meditation or prayer are ways that require minimal effort.
Meditating for just 5-10 minutes a day has numerous benefits:
- Reduces stress
- Lowers blood pressure
- Helps you sleep better
- Lowers anxiety
- Encourages a more positive mindset
How do you meditate? You sit in a comfortable position whether on the ground or in a chair with your shoulders rolled back. Hands are relaxed.
From there you can listen to a guided meditation like this free one on YouTube until you learn how to do it on your own. Doing it first thing in the morning can set the tone for the rest of day.
If you’re religious, prayer is also a great way to reduce anxiety and help you relax. It has many of the same benefits as meditation.
You can pray about your journey and the hardships you’re facing, which is soothing and empowering.
9. Go to a yoga class
Any form of exercise is good for you, but yoga is known for its incredible mental benefits as well as the physical. It’s not just a fancy exercise for skinny people wearing Lululemon, it’s for everyone.
Some well-known benefits of yoga include:
- Relieving stress
- Improving mental health
- Reducing anxiety
- Improving quality of sleep
- Improving strength and flexibility
Attending a class in person might be better than doing it at home because of the social aspect. It’ll help you get out of the house, get you to interact with people, and get your mind off of trying to get pregnant.
If you really can’t attend a class in person, there are plenty of free yoga exercises on Youtube or a paid app you can download.
I highly recommend the Down Dog app because you can tailor each exercise to fit your needs and they never repeat. It’s the only yoga app I use if I can’t go to a class.
10. Get out of the house
In this new normal since the pandemic, many more people are working from home. While it’s a luxury, it can also become a little isolating.
If you’re going days without leaving the house, it could contribute to higher stress levels and anxiety.
Leaving the house, whether to go for a quick walk or to grab a coffee with a friend, can make a huge difference in your mood. If you have a yard or a balcony, consider working outside if the weather is nice.
11. Utilize trying to conceive tools
Another tip on how to relax while trying to get pregnant is by utilizing trying to conceive tools. There are two main tools that are worth trying: an ovulation test and a fertility friendly lubricant.
Ovulation tests
You may already be using a cycle tracking app, which is a great tool but they can only do so much.
Cycle tracking apps typically estimate your ovulation day, which isn’t always accurate. As a result, you could be timing intercourse on the wrong days.
Ovulation tests measure a hormone called LH which surges right before you ovulate. Using an ovulation test can help you time intercourse better and more importantly, increase your chances of conceiving.
Pregmate Ovulation Test Strips
These Pregmate Ovulation Test Strips are budget-friendly and very easy to use.
To use them correctly, you’ll want to pee in a cup first thing in the morning, dip the test strip in for 3-5 seconds, then wait for the results.
If the test line is equal to or darker than the control line, then that means your LH has surged, which is a positive result.
A positive result means that you’ll likely ovulate in the next 24 hours.
If the test line is getting darker but not as dark as the control line, that means you’re fertile: which means perfect timing for intercourse.
The best time to begin testing is day or two after your period ends. When you begin to know your cycles better, you could wait longer if you know you ovulate later.
If you’re wondering about how often to test, it’s best do start with once a day in the mornings.
When the test line begins to get darker, you can test more often (after holding your pee for at least 4 hours) so you don’t miss your LH surge.
Easy@Home Ovulation Tests
Other good ovulation tests are these Easy@Home Ovulation Tests. They work practically the same as the Pregmate Ovulation Tests.
The upside with these ones is that they pair directly with an app. So if you’re not really sure how to read the results, the app will read them for you.
All you have to do is take a picture of your test on a flat surface with good lighting and upload them to the app.
Fertility friendly lubricant
When you’re trying to get pregnant, you’re likely looking for anything you can do to speed up the process. A fertility friendly lubricant is definitely worth trying.
Pre-Seed Fertility Friendly Lubricant
This Pre-Seed Fertility Friendly Lubricant mimics your body’s natural cervical mucus which doesn’t inhibit sperm from reaching the egg.
It’s also specifically formulated for couples that are trying to conceive.
I had great success with it and honestly, it’s worth trying, especially if you’re considering IVF.
Using trying to conceive tools can give you more control throughout your journey and help calm your nerves.
An ovulation test may even be able to tell you that you ovulate earlier or less than you expected. And a fertility friendly lubricant may be great if you don’t produce enough cervical mucus on your own.
12. Keep your pregnancy test stash low
How you can relax while trying to get pregnant is by refraining from stocking up on pregnancy tests!
The more you have, the more you’ll feel inclined to use them up. This turns into testing way too early, which only leads to frustration.
I know it gets tough during the two-week-wait but to alleviate stress, keeping your supply low is a good way to do it.
You don’t want to actually be pregnant, but think you’re not, because you tested too early for the results to show properly.
It’s best to wait until you’re at least a day late, then test. If you have a stash of cheapies, feel free to use them up but don’t buy more! A simple pack of 2 or 3 is all you need.
13. Get better sleep
Quality of sleep has a direct impact on your overall well-being. Here are many different ways you can get better sleep:
- Drink chamomile tea 45 minutes before you plan to go to bed
- Use a cream with magnesium before bed
- Add lavender oil to a diffuser before bed
- Drink less caffeine during the day
- Keep alcoholic beverages to 1 a day
- Stay off of your phone right before bed
- Don’t watch TV right before bed
- Read a book before bed
- Keep it dim in your room before bed
- Exercise more
- Get more natural sunlight by going outside more
- Shoot for a bedtime between 9pm and 10pm (if you’re able)
Getting better sleep can reduce stress and anxiety, give you more energy throughout the day, and keep your brain healthy and more active.
14. Plan a date with your partner during the two-week- wait
While trying to conceive, sex can end up becoming more of a chore and the romance aspect can fly out of the window. To keep the romance alive in your relationship, it would be a great idea to plan a date.
During the two-week-wait (the time between ovulation and your next period), when you’re trying to kill time anyway, it’s a good opportunity to connect with your partner and get your minds off of trying to get pregnant.
Even if it’s just a dinner or something like a coffee date, promise to not talk about anything that has to do with trying to conceive! You both deserve to relax and have a fun time without thinking about ovulation.
15. Plan “me” time
How you can relax while trying to get pregnant is by planning “me” time. With the constant stressing over perfectly timed intercourse, temping, ovulation tests, and more, it’s easy to let this process take over your life.
Setting aside some time for yourself will help keep you grounded.
You could use your “me” time to do plenty of relaxing activities or even fall back in love with your hobbies. It may even be a good idea to treat yourself to a massage if you can swing it financially.
Even if it’s relaxing for you to do nothing at all, do it.
Here are some ways to give yourself that “me” time at least once a month:
- Read a book
- Watch a show or movie that makes you laugh
- Cook
- Get a massage
- Try acupuncture
- Go on a walk
- Learn a new hobby
16. Take a break from the mechanics of trying to get pregnant
If trying to conceive is putting too much of a strain on you and/or your marriage, you may want to consider taking a break for a couple months.
Taking a break can help you both get your life back and make more time for each other. When you finally decide that you’re both ready to try again, you’ll be in a better place.
However, if it’s only going to add more stress because you feel like you’re running out of time, you can make a few adjustments.
Instead of “perfectly timed” intercourse, try doing it every 2 to 3 days throughout the month. It’ll take the pressure off of tracking everything, and still gives you great odds of conceiving.
17. Take a social media break
Lastly, how you can relax while trying to get pregnant is by taking a break from social media.
When you’re trying to conceive, it may seem like everyone around you is getting pregnant. The reality is, you don’t know how long those couples were trying to get pregnant.
All you see is the highlight reel.
Sadly, that’s not always a first thought. So to keep yourself from going down the rabbit hole of comparison, try logging out for a few days. It’ll do wonders for your mental health give you some free time back.
Whenever you do log back on, you can train yourself to think more positively whenever you do see another pregnancy announcement.
This post was all about how to relax while trying to get pregnant.